Month: September 2011

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Goblin Tales For Adults – even another update

 Boggis

Sometimes when you write a tale, you fly through it. At other times not. This current goblin tale (No:24 in the anthology of thirty) I’m working on, definitely falls into the second category. It concerns the youngest of the goblin brothers – Byzantine Du Lac. Byz is a problem child. Being simple-minded, his brothers despair of him. He just simply seems incapable of growing up. Maybe he never will, who knows?

I’ll have to wait for Glob to return. I need more information from him about Byz. Hopefully between us we can discuss young Byz’s problems and try to make sense of this child of nature. Meantime he can be found hiding under his bed playing with spiders, earwigs, wood lice, worms and snails.

Whoever said that writing a book is easy should try solving the problems of a character like young Byz.

Hey ho, back to work.

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Cold Callers

Imagine if you will the following scenario:
As a writer your thoughts are fully immersed in the story you are currently working on. Either the hero is about to rescue the damsel in distress, or, the evil villain in the story is poised to strike, when…
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I was knee-deep in the plot of my current work in progress a few minutes ago, closely following my train of thought, when some bloody crettin knocked on my door.
I hate cold callers and being disturbed by anything, or anyone when I’m writing – most writers do.
Before you start accusing me of being an old grouch, no I am not, but even I have my limits. I put down my laptop and went to answer the knocking on my door, only to find there was no one there. I went to the kitchen window and peered out to see a fully paid up member of the local ‘God Squad’, carrying his leaflets down the street.
***
To all cold callers:
No I don’t want to be saved! Nor do I want double glazing, if you bothered to look you nitwit, you would see my home already has it! No I don’t want a subscription to this or that magazine. No I don’t want to buy a tonne of coal, I have no fireplace. No I don’t want to change my energy supplier, and no I don’t want to buy a dozen bloody eggs!
Just go away and leave me be – grrr.
Aah, that’s better, spleen vented. Now back to my latest storyline, And no more bloody interruptions, thank you very much!
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The seasons, they are a changing

With two days to go before September ends, you would be forgiven for thinking that it is still summer. And yet, the last few mornings have been misty and decidedly cool. Yesterday for instance started off with thick mist and cloud cover, and yet by mid-afternoon I was sweltering in summer temperatures (29º Centigrade).
But, once October starts, certainly within the first two weeks, like everyone else in this island nation, I’ll be hunting out my thermals. The seasons are certainly changing but not in the way we are all used to.
Our summers are gradually getting longer and hotter. In some parts of the UK, no rain has been seen for months. Our winters are getting colder. Last winter was particularly cold. We had more snow than most of our younger citizens had ever seen in their short lives. Folk like me remember the years back in the late 1940’s early1950’s when drift snow was the norm. Back then houses were only heated by coal ranges and open fires. No house had double glazing, not that it slows down the escape of heat from inside to the world beyond. But besides acting as a sound barrier, it does help in a tiny way to stop cold coming in.
Why am I wittering on about the weather? God only knows. Perhaps it’s because I could find nothing in today’s news to bitch about. Give me time though, the day is still young(evil laugh).

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So You Want To Be A Writer

Ask yourselves this; what do you want to write about. If you’re literary goal is fiction, can you exist on next to nothing in the way of money and virtually become a recluse, deliberately shutting yourself off from everything you know to achieve your goal. If you still answered yes then read on…
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Since taking up the noble craft seriously back in 2003, I have begun to realize that to write you have to be a touch crazy, or perhaps that should read ‘touched’. What other calling do you know of which mentally rips your very soul to shreds – some form of martyrdom perhaps?
At the very least, you need to be what most people would describe as a ‘character’, or an ‘eccentric’. Above all, you must have an obsessive compulsion to write.
We’re not talking about your average journalistic hack here that gets sent on an assignment to write five hundred words on the local flower show; or, if he/she is considered worthy by the managing editor of the rag they write for, gets sent out to dig up dirt on a politician or a so-called celebrity. No. We’re talking about someone who loves the written word and fictitious stories, be they fantasy, sci-fi, paranormal, YA, humour in any genre, spy thrillers, murder, historically accurate tales, or even those god awful Mills & Boon style formulaic love stories, read by women across the world. In fact we’re talking about any genre you care to name.
We go through hell on a handcart to bring our stories to you the reader, believe me I know; I suffered my second breakdown over my first novel. We sacrifice what passes for a ‘normal’ existence for our necessarily solitary one. Some of us write in the morning, some in the afternoon. Some even write from dawn to dusk.
A few well know authors and most celebrities employ ‘ghost writers’ to do the hard stuff – writing, while they concentrate on dictating into a recording device of some sort. Perhaps you may like to consider being a ghost writer. Don’t dismiss the idea out of hand. At least while you’re writing someone else’s story, and being paid for it, you’re free to work on your own magnum opus. You may even consider writing some short stories for publication. There are a lot of competitions looking for new writers. Why not start up your own blog?
While one or two writers make millions in royalties, most do not. So unless you are passionate about writing, stick with your day job.
One last thing, on behalf of all we serious writers, please, please continue to read the product of all our work, and if you can, please give us feedback on our web pages and blogs. Without feedback from you the reader, how can we improve on our work?
I thank you for taking the time to read this. Please throw a coin in my hat as you pass me by.
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Getting Too Darned Big

I read an article earlier today Read Here about Amazon’s latest idea to boost sales of books. While I can understand that they want to shift the vast stocks of ‘physical’ books they have by lowering the book price even more, thereby making it impossible for the other book retailers to compete, what about the hard working writers who authored those books?
Amazon’s market share of the world of e-books is already the largest there is. Yet for something which takes up no physical space on their shelves, merely megabytes on a computer buried somewhere within Amazon’s vast number of storehouses or offices across the planet, they seem to think that every title they have on offer needs to be either simply given away, or offered at US$0.99c.
As for the actual printed books they are planning on virtually giving away next month, I say again, what about the authors of those books. We, the writers, have spent many months, years even, sweating over our pencils, pens, computers, to produce that tale you the reader are about to be given for virtually nothing, mostly earning zero for our effort until it is finally published – in some cases, not even then. But that is another story.
Is this a case of a company getting too darned big for its own boots? 
You decide…