In my own case, there is only one person from days gone by – Wyatt Earp.Read Here The man totally fascinates me. The real Earp hardly bares any resemblance to the Hollywood version portrayed by countless actors over the years. When you read my article in “Angie’s DIARY”, I think you may be surprised.
Sometimes when you write a tale, you fly through it. At other times not. This current goblin tale (No:24 in the anthology of thirty) I’m working on, definitely falls into the second category. It concerns the youngest of the goblin brothers – Byzantine Du Lac. Byz is a problem child. Being simple-minded, his brothers despair of him. He just simply seems incapable of growing up. Maybe he never will, who knows?
I’ll have to wait for Glob to return. I need more information from him about Byz. Hopefully between us we can discuss young Byz’s problems and try to make sense of this child of nature. Meantime he can be found hiding under his bed playing with spiders, earwigs, wood lice, worms and snails.
Whoever said that writing a book is easy should try solving the problems of a character like young Byz.
Hey ho, back to work.
If there is one thing I hate, its my laptop grinding to a halt. Why? Simple, its so full of crap like Cookie’s, unwanted links, unwanted endless records that some idiot (not me) decided all computer software can’t possible do without. Besides Cookies there are also even more examples of annoying software trivia. Without exception they are all useless to the user, but invaluable to those sneaky individuals who live their leech-like lives following your every keystroke. I give you Site Preferences, Active logins, Cache, Form and Search History and Browsing and Download History.
Just cleaning the outside of your computer, removing smudges, cigarette or cigar ash from between the keys, strands of tobacco or the odd hair that has fallen out of your head is largely pointless. The real rubbish sits on your hard-drive.
So take five minutes of your time to hit the ‘clean me now’ button. Mine can be found under the Tools heading at the top of the screen.
Of course you will have to once again log yourself in to all of those pages you use on a daily basis like Facebook for instance, which for some completely unfathomable reason only know to Mark Zuckerthingy, requires you to give your computer a name each time. Every time he asks me I call this laptop Fred.
So now ‘Fred’ is clutter free once more, we bid you all a good day.
For far too long in my humble opinion, your average southern wood goblin has been much maligned. Far from being the loathsome evil creatures portrayed in fairy tales by human authors like The Brothers Grimm, designed to frighten children in centuries past, they are entirely friendly. I have got to know the author of these tales – Globular Van der Graff, or Glob as he likes to be called really well. I am of the firm belief that on the whole they are entirely misunderstood creatures.
Despite the way the predecessors of humanity, the Humins, first treated them when the two races met, two thousand summers before the first in this anthology of goblin tales happened, both races lived side by side in peace ever after.
The five wood goblins I met one day several months ago in a glade not far from here, when I was having a snooze in the afternoon sunshine have existed in secret, hidden away from humanity, since those days thousands of years ago, till now. They are Globular Van der Graff (Glob), Makepeace Terranova (Make), Byzantine Du Lac (Byz), Eponymous Tringthicky (Mous) and finally, curmudgeonly old Neopol Stranglethigh (Neo). They continue to inhabit the most remote forests, living side by side with all the forest’s other inhabitants.
These friendly little beings seem to have taken over my life in one way or another by insisting I write downwhat Glob dictates to me. He will often wake me in the dead of night by standing on my chest, raring to tell me of yet another adventure or some mishap or other that had befallen him or one of his brothers. Why he chose me for the task of translating and recording his tales, I have still to learn. Needless to say I am honoured to do so. It is not every day that a lowly human is given such a chance.
At his insistence I have created for you an eyewitness history on paper of their world which they shared with our forebears the Humins, along with Witches of both black and white persuasions, Griffins, Wyverns, Gremlins, Ogre’s, Elves, Trolls, Dragons, the odd Wizard or two and an assorted collection of animals. At Glob’s insistence I have also left their conversations in their own vernacular rather than modern day English.
This anthology of their tales is a snapshot of their lives, their adventures and misadventures. I hope that when you have read them that you will look kindly on these tiny woodland individuals in the future, should they choose to visit you.
Now please sit back and turn to page one to enter their magical world.
Yours most humbly,
Jack Eason, honorary Southern Wood Goblin chronicler
PS – The editing is still ongoing. I have one more to tackle before I continue with Goblin Tale No:24.