The Great Glob Giveaway


Well, the five day giveaway has come to an end. No great surprises that the majority of free copies eagerly snapped up was in the United States. Afer all, when it comes to eBooks, the US is the largest market. Here are the final figures per Amazon outlet:- (USA) – 1120 (United Kingdom) – 118 (Germany) – 54 (France) – nil (Spain) – nil (Italy) – 2 (Japan) – nil (India) – nil (Canada) – 3 (Brazil) – nil (Mexico) – nil (Australia) – 4

Total – 1301

Once again there are no major surprises, apart from Italy. Two people living there got themselves a copy. Thank you Italy.

Had the giveaway lasted another five days, by the way things went I suspect that Germany would have passed the UK’s total. When it comes to my book sales in Europe, Germany positively shines, whereas my own homeland (the UK) does not.

When it comes to Ebooks written in English, half the countries where Amazon has an outlet simply aren’t interested. Plus, let us not forget that in dear old Glob’s case, the dialogue between various characters is not exactly standard UK English, being Goblinese.

What will be interesting to see is if the thirteen hundred and one individuals who now have a copy from this latest giveaway will actually bother to read it. Judging by previous giveaways, the simple answer is no. For the few who do read it, how many of them will feel inclined to write a review I wonder? Again, I doubt any will bother. The last time I checked, Glob had twenty reviews on and eight on Once again, will we see any improvement on those particular figures? I doubt it.

Just think folks, since Glob’s Tales first appeared on the world market back in 2012, it has barely sold three hundred copies, including the paperback version. To date, four thousand three hundred and one people have got themselves a copy for free. It says a lot about today’s crop of readers, pennypinchers all.

One thing is for certain, my kind of fantasy storytelling is not what today’s young adults want to read. It’s their loss, not mine.

Makes you wonder…

Marketing, yeah well whatever.

More on marketing and genre choice…

Jim Webster


It’s all well and good having written a book, what about selling it? Not wanting to talk dirty or anything, but seriously people, you’ve poured a lot of time into the who literary process, so it wouldn’t hurt to get a few bob back.

After all, a couple of weeks back I talked about how much it cost to produce this book. (So how much money is there in this book writing job anyway)

So how do you do it?

Well frankly I don’t think a lot of Indie author’s actually do any marketing. There was a fascinating article in the Guardian about the Self-Publishing boom.

It made the fascinating comment “18m self-published titles purchased, worth £59m,”

By my reckoning this means the average self-published book nets £3.27.
Even if 6m of the self-published titles are free this means the average purchased on brings in £4.91.


View original post 470 more words

What I would really like to say, but can’t


When it comes to reviews, as writers we are constantly being attacked by complete idiots. While we all know that we must ignore the total morons, otherwise we would be playing into their hands, wouldn’t it great if we could reply to them?

Here is a small sample of some reviews for my books from various individuals on Amazon with an axe to grind, along with what I would dearly have loved to say to them. Each one of the reviewers shows their true colours.


“My expectations kept drooping as I read the book until I could stand it no more. I felt like I was reading a narrative put together by a 7 year old without the pleasure of a 7 year old’s breathless enthusiasm. What a waste of time!”

Just a couple of points here idiot, have you ever published a book? Have you ever written anything other than your name? Can you even do joined up writing? Or do you print using crayon?


“The story dosent really pull the reader in. The writing is ment for a very young reader. The story line is rather boring.”

Considering you obviously can’t spell you moronic little twit, I’m not surprised that you found it boring.


“I loved the cover and thought these tales would be more in the horror genre. The title is misleading, should be titled …tales for children. Only made it to 16% and stopped. The stories had no substance to them. Might be a good choice for parents to read to their kiddies at bedtime.”

Idiot! Serves you right for not reading the first few pages using the ‘look inside’ feature before buying. That’s why its there – use it next time!


Why Amazon approves outbursts like the above is simply baffling. One thing is for certain, until Amazon’s management decide to side with the writer, we will all continue to be subjected to the bile of these stupid people.



Top reviews, and yet…

Click on the pic to take you to the book itself on should you wish to obtain a copy

To all my fellow writers out there who read this blog. I know I’ve asked this question in the past. To date, I still have not heard a perfectly sound reason why it is so. What am I talking about?

Of all the books I have ever written, the above fantasy anthology has received far more glowing reviews than the other kind. Let’s face it folks, those of you who have read it, loved it. And yet, it simply doesn’t sell? Why is that? Can anybody tell me? Is it the genre (Fantasy)? Is it the fact that it concerns the adventures and mishaps of five goblin brothers and a lisping one-eyed raven with a twisted beak? Is it the goblin-speak I employ when the characters are talking, or the lisping when Bejuss the raven speaks? Or is it simply the fact that I refused to portray them all in a bad light?

Without exception all of my other books have sold in their thousands since 2012. Why not this one?

Maybe it is the price – US$1.28 for the Kindle version, US$10.02 for the paperback. UK£0.77 for the Kindle version, UK£6.39 for the paperback.

Here is a direct copy of all those positive reviews, spelling errors etal

I am only about halfway through this book, but felt the need to share my thoughts about the marvelous world Jack Eason has created. Globular Van der Graff’s Goblin Tales for Adults is a collection of short stories about a band of goblins who live in a place called Goblindom. Now before you go on to the next book in your queue, you have to know, these are not the goblins we grew up fearing as kids. Those stories were meant to frighten young children into behaving and washing behind their ears. No, these goblins are a fun-loving, friendly, adventurous sort who want nothing more than to sit around a campfire, eat honeycomb and drink their goblin brewed mead. Mr Eason has skillfully developed five goblins, each with their own unique personalities and quirks. (My personal favorite is Neo, a cross eyed old goblin). From the first story, you can easily relate with any or all of the characters and will find yourself cheering them on through their adventures. I recommend this book for anyone who enjoys lighthearted tales of friendship and family. Read this book. It will change your mind about goblins forever.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably held to the notion that goblins are ugly, green humanoids with the mentality of a swarm of gnats. From page one of this fabulous collection, you’ll realize there are more to goblins than their usual portrayal in literature.Jack Eason has created a compelling, complex, and utterly charming world called Goblindom, where a band of five goblin brothers, led by Globular (Glob) share in one exciting journey after another. Humans (humins, as the goblins call them) are present, but unlike most stories in fantasy, they are not the focus, but exist as friends and wonderful minor characters.

What I particularly love about this collection is that the characters are so well done, they come to life on the page. Each goblin has his own unique quirks. You’ll soon connect with each of them as though they were old friends, whether it’s Make with his pipe or cross-eyed, grumpy Neo. My favorite character of all, however, isn’t a goblin at all, but a one-eyed, lisping raven named Bejuss. He completely steals the show on more than one occasion!

Each story is short enough to read in a sitting and different enough to keep you waiting for the next. Whether the brothers are seeking out the goblin queen or protecting the humins from ugly witches and dragons, their stories are lessons in friendship, family, loyalty, and perseverance.

Don’t let the “For Adults” in the title fool you. These stories are not erotic or overly graphic, so I recommend it for young adults and beyond! Grab your copy today!

From the very first story I was hooked, and for some reason, the style Jack Eason uses in this book had me thinking immediately of Geoffrey Chaucer meeting Mother Goose. It’s a beautifully crafted story book that will delight any reader. In particular, I just loved ‘I Juth Want One Night’th Thleep’, the story of Bejuss, the one-eyed lisping raven with the twisted beak. Having read Jack’s other books, Globular Van der Graff’s Goblin Tales is such a complete change of genre and one that I hope he continues to write in. All up, a fantastic read.
if you are into goblins and excitement then i recommend this book, i couldn’t put
down my kindle and kept reading it hope the author published a continue book to this one one day
This book has 30 short but immensely enjoyable stories about five Goblin brothers and their ‘Humin’ friend.
Unlike many fantasy tales involving Humans and Goblins, this book contains no gory bits, spurious violence or endless wars, nevertheless, it is very entertaining.
Be careful though, especially if you tend to read out loud to yourself, the temptation to utter the words spoken by the Goblins is overwhelming and if you are in a packed commuter train or bus, you may get funny looks from your fellow travellers.
Mind you, you may also get more space to stretch out and get comfortable as they sidle away from you….
Very good book. I was sad when I reached the end. I hope to read more of Glob and his brothers and friends.
I found this to be an interesting new take on goblins (especially Neo – who brews his own ale). I’ve never read a story from the goblin’s point of view before and it was fun to learn about their home life, alliances and hierarchy. Despite being billed as `Goblin tales for adults”, I think kids would enjoy some of these as well (just make sure you read the tale in question first – some of them do stray into territory that may not be appropriate for younger readers).
Jack has created a delightful world, set in a time when goblins and `humins’ lived in harmony. His small family of goblin brothers come alive as you follow their adventures.
I was looking for a collection of short, enjoyable reads and this fit the bill.
As I read through this anthology of tales I imagined what Tolkien’s grandchildren felt like when he told them the story of Bilbo in “There and Back Again: A Hobbit’s Tale”. Jack Eason’s storytelling in Globular Tales harkened back to that era and style and I was very entertained. The characters are memorable and unique. Eason incorporates humor, even a kind of bungling slapstick at times, but also gives the reader heartache, victory, and a whole gamut of feelings throughout that series of tales.I would recommend this story even to junior high level readers as far as content goes, but believe even mature readers will find this a truly delightful set of stories. Well done.

Obadiah introduces Glob to the mother of all goblins, Hermione Fingletook. She explains why goblins never know where they came from. She says each new goblin is born from a specially selected acorn which she picks. Once born, she determines their purpose then fills their minds with knowledge they need to survive before sending them out into Goblindom.I never thought I would enjoy a story book about goblins! Jack Eason brought a family of goblins alive with such writing skill I felt a warm place in my heart for each goblin. They are described so vividly it’s hard not to love each character in every tale Eason tells.

The fantasy tales told are one exciting adventure after another of five goblin brothers. There are humans involved, called ‘humins’ to the goblins, but these are friendly humans!

The tales are truly enjoyable to read and have fun with. I think it would be a wonderful book for all ages.

Goblin Tales for Adults in another wonderful book from Jack Eason. Packed to the pages with memorable characters and the wit and charm we have come to expect from the Author. An absolute laugh out loud page turner with plenty of hidden depth that will have you reading it again and again. All in all a Glob well done!
Jack Eason’s Globular Van der Graff’s Goblin Tales for Adults is an adventure like no other. From the start you will be pulled in by the vivid characters Jack had created for Goblindom, not to mention the journeys they partake in. It won’t be long before you find the character you love the most.
Each story deals with another adventure, mostly misadventures, of the goblin brothers. Yet Jack still managed to connect all the stories with an overall plot and brilliant character growth.
Although the book says `for adults’, I would have no problem introducing this book to my kids, when I eventually have kids.
If you’ve never loved a goblin, then you’ve never read this book. Goblin Tales for Adults brings the world of goblins to life and makes it fun! Short, amusing stories. The ‘human’ side of goblin-dom, and yet still with the harsh realities of being a goblin. Not exactly the kind you want to have dinner with, unless you don’t mind the table manners–or lack of them. My favorite character is the lispy, heroic raven, Bejuss. Well done, Jack.
Mr. Eason’s stories remind me of the original Grimm’s Fairy Tales, not the sanitized ones of today but the ones where the ants tell the grasshopper to get lost. The humor is laced throughout each story as the brothers travel through each adventure developing and evolving, yet you already know them in your heart and mind and all their quirks. A must read if for no other reason than it is delightfully different!
The title was intriguing enough, I thought, so I began to read. I was well and truly drawn in to a make believe world, complete with maps and excellent descriptions of amazing characters with very distinct personalities.It looks as though Mr Eason has had a lot of fun creating these wonderful characters and woven a fantastic world around them.I recommend this book for all ages. It is bright, easy to read and a lot of fun.
Don’t just read this post and say nothing. I really want to know what you all think about this conundrum. It has me totally bewildered…

There But For The Grace of God Go You


homeless_1836463cThe inch-high conical spikes, with pedestrians in the background

We may live in the twenty-first century, but for millions of us poverty is a daily reality. Here in the United Kingdom, we are appalled by the endless stories in the newspapers and on television about millions of people in other countries living in squalor, wondering where their next meal is coming from while our very own homeless are worrying about where they can find shelter and something to eat.

While England is one of the richest countries in the western world, we currently have one third of the population (eighteen million) living below the poverty line. Of that eighteen million, several hundred thousand people here are homeless. This makes no sense at all when you consider that currently there are over seven hundred thousand empty homes across the nation. It begs the simple question, why don’t we take care of our own poor and starving first, before sending millions of pounds of aid to other countries?

Answer – no politician gives a damn about what is happening on the streets of his/her own country. All the heartless bastards care about is pleasing their rich backers and looking good among their international peers! The age old divide between rich and poor is still with us. While the rich grow richer, the poor are increasingly put upon.

Instead of the government and local authorities doing the decent thing, they make things worse. In their obsessive drive to economise and cut back on public spending, all benefits which the poor by necessity are forced to rely upon are cut, making basic accomodation unaffordable for many. Which is why so many people are forced to sleep in doorways. Recently some local authorities and businesses showed their true colours by installing spikes (see photo above) to discourage rough sleepers. In several instances, thankfully their callous response was publically exposed, forcing companies like the UK’s major supermarket chain Tesco to remove the spikes from outside their buildings.

While wages, benefits and the state pension are not increasing, prices are. For many people these days, visiting their local food bank each day or week has taken over from spending in the supermarkets and high streets. In fact the number of food banks springing up across the UK is on the increase.

Believe me I know what it feels like to be on the recieving end of the State’s indifference. Due to no job being available to me back in the middle of the first decade of this new century, I had a major mental breakdown. Consequently I became homeless. With no immediate help available, out of necessity I was forced to sleep rough. Being written off by society at the ripe old age of fifty-three back then was a shock to the system. Even though I am now retired and housed, existing on a minimum state pension, paying the ever increasing bills or feeding myself is still a toss up.

No one reading this should feel smug. It happened to me. It can so easily happen to you. In this day and age, becoming homeless and poor is just a short step away for all of you if you lose your job. Just because you live in a rich western nation is no guarantee of financial security. By the same token, if our government can’t, or won’t, house the homeless, our politicians refusal to honour the referendum result to leave the EU should come as no surprise either!!

When Sales Dry Up


No matter how vigorously you may advertise your books. No matter how many advertising outlets, sales gimmicks like giveaways and any other method you may dream up, inevitably your book sales will dry up. It stands to reason that the good times cannot last forever, despite the fact that your books are still available.

From 2012 when I first dipped my toe into self-publishing until January 2014, I enjoyed monthly sales in the low thousands.

No more!!!

Am I rich because of the thousands of copies sold? Very definitely no. The total amount of earnings via royalties from all of my books still hasn’t broken through the £1000 barrier to this day. Nor will it. These days I consider myself fortunate indeed if I manage to sell one or two units per month.

Despite what some people may believe, when it comes to royalties, they are a tiny percentage of the purchase price.  For example, on an eBook priced at US$0.99, the royalty minus tax in the US and in your own country is less than the pre-tax amount of US$0.35 by the time it arrives in your bank account each month. As with conventional publishing houses, when it comes to eBook publishing it is the company that offers your books who makes the lion’s share from any and all sales.

It is a fact that for any writer to make a living, the number of units sold has to exceed a minimum of a quarter of a million p.a., no matter the purchase price. In that case why not raise the price or even change the cover, I hear you cry.

Raising the price is a big no no!!! Changing the cover achieves absolutely bugger all. Both options can and do prove detrimental to your sales. By deliberately keeping the price of my books low (never more than US$2.99) makes them attractive to someone who has never heard of me before. Encouraging them to sample my writing. When it comes to the covers of my books, they strongly relate to the story. In their case I adopt the policy – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?

Early on I took the conscious decision to publish all of my books via one system – Kindle. Why? Because people were, and still are, buying Kindle readers in their hundreds of thousands. Plus, increasingly Amazon’s tentacles are spreading far and wide across the world. And yet despite eBooks now being read by people from many countries, whether via a Kindle, or a Kindle app for your computer, or indeed another eBook application in countries including my own (the UK), by far the largest market for eBooks is still the United States. By comparison my UK sales have always been pathetically small. Why? Because my stick-in-the-mud fellow countrymen and women still prefer to hold a paperback or hard cover book in their hands. The same goes for my sales in Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

While Amazon’s publishing arm, Kindle Direct Publishing, makes eBooks available via Amazon in the following countries, the US, UK, Germany, France, Spain, Italy, Japan, India, Canada, Brazil, Mexico and Australia, when it comes to books written in English, the market is severely reduced. It doesn’t appear to make any difference which genre you favour when writing, the result is the same.

But that wasn’t why I became a full time writer in the first place. I still tell myself that I just love creating a story that I enjoy, and hopefully others will as well.

Nurse? Nurse? Sorry about that. I need my daily happy pill. I’ve got a book to carry on beta-reading for a fellow writer/ nutcase…