Answer Me This If You Can

Editor

Editor at work – Yeh right!

For as long as I’ve been writing full time (since 1995), one aspect of our chosen career path has always bothered me. We all know that writers in publishing house stables are expected to apply all the corrections that their editors deem necessary. More fool them!

Why should Indies suffer this totally illogical practice as well? For many, myself included, we parted company with traditional publishing to get away from this less than satisfactory aspect of the writing game, and the often dictatorial way in which publishers rule over their writers, amongst other things.

I’ve given up counting the number of times I’ve heard fellow Indie’s complain about their editors, and the hard won money they’ve spent on their sometimes dubious services.

If you take the sensible decision to go it alone and self edit, you’ll soon find any errors and correct them. Whereas if you pay for an editor’s services, while they give the impression of doing a so-called professional job, what do they actually do for their often exhorbitant fee? Not enough! They only do half a job, then send it back to you to do the rest. What’s the point of that? A writer can do it all themselves and for no cost to them except time.

Yes your editor will tell you that they have judiciously gone through your manuscript, purportedly working their way through your story word by word, line by line, paragraph by paragraph, picking up on bad grammar, spelling mistakes, incorrect punctuation, plus suggesting you change this or that aspect of your story as if it was them who wrote the darned story in the first place, so that when pedants, armchair critics and literary snobs challenge you (and believe me they will), you can honestly say that your work was professionally edited.

Big deal!

Logic dictates that if someone is employing you as an editor to find all of the errors, that once found, you should correct them yourselves, not send the manuscript back to the writer to do your job for you! Otherwise, what’s the point of employing you in the first place. If a writer does the sensible thing and sends their manuscript to a few dedicated beta readers, hopefully they will point out any and all errors for free!

Remember this, no book is ever perfect. Even the very best editors employed by the major publishing houses will miss the minutiae, after all they are human just like the rest of us. Paying for an editor’s services, as they stand at the moment, is a waste of money. Before you even begin to show a profit from the sales of your books, you have to recoup your financial outlay first, ie, editing, layout, cover design. From a financial point of view its far better that you do it all yourself. Thinking about it, so-called professional editors are little more than failed writers.

If you are a truly dedicated Indie writer, don’t think that once you have written your manuscript that you have finished. You haven’t. Your work has only just begun. Above all don’t fall into the trap that your manuscript need the services of a paid ‘professional’ editor. It doesn’t. If you are any damned good, you will do it yourselves!

Here endeth today’s lesson…

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Goodbye Goblin Tales for Adults

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Globular Van der Graff’s “Goblin Tales for Adults” is dead, or it soon will be…

I’ve just unpublished it at KDP, and asked both Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk to eliminate it from my list of books. With only two more tales to go, I’m almost ready to publish the replacement, Goblin Tales, just in time for Christmas.

Keep your eyes peeled for the new version from December the 1st, or soon after, because that’s when I’ll be uploading it to KDP. Then you can purchase your Kindle copy at your nearest Amazon outlet. As for its paper back version. Once its up and running as a Kindle book, I’ll then upload it to Createspace so that its paperback version can be made available as well.

Goblin Tales

PS – If you miss it, don’t worry. I’ll let you know here with its new Kindle link for Amazon.com. In which case all you will need to do is click on its cover.

PPS –Β  Here’s a gentle reminder for the mentally challenged among us. Unless you like being disappointed, don’t try clicking on either of the covers shown here on this post because neither of them are linked to Amazon.

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Cataclysm – now available in paperback

index

Cataclysm is now available in paperback as well as an eBook

Click on the cover for paperback or the highlighted word for the Kindle version

Reviews

4.0 out of 5 stars A challenging, passionate book November 24, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Cataclysm carries distinct echoes of Daeniken’s Chariots of the Gods. The premise is exciting, if somewhat familiar: an ingenious scientist builds a time machine and uses it to discover the truth behind humanity’s creation. What sets apart Cataclysm from similar books is the author’s passionate take on various subjects, from religion to third gender rights. For many, this will be the book’s strongest point.

However, it occasionally meant focusing on one subject but skimming through another. For example, the time travelers come across a city in the Black Sea, 3 mil. years ago. I expected a detailed description of such an amazing discovery; instead, the whole episode is over in a few pages. Oh the other hand, the hero’s apartment is described in exhaustive detail, and an anti-religious speech takes up a number of pages. Similarly, the ending felt somewhat rushed, with a strangely indirect resolution.

Still, if you’re not easily offended and are looking for a challenging, passionate book and an interesting story, this is a book worth checking out.

4.0 out of 5 stars A Ripping Yarn! November 7, 2014
By Derek
Format:Kindle Edition
Jack Eason spins another of his ripping yarns in, Cataclysm. His rich knowledge of history along with ancient myths and legends thread through each page, and true to his unique storytelling style, it is punctuated with the occasional pithy dash of the language and dry humour that marks his Kiwi and English upbringing. While Cataclysm has an element of science fiction to it, it is in the historical facts, and myths, which are intertwined with the present that make this such a good read.
5.0 out of 5 stars Read and ponder! November 3, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition
I was lucky enough to be a Beta Reader of this book prior to publishing and can tell you that it is not JUST a ‘science fiction / time travel / action / thriller / romance with a difference’ story that will grip you from the start and keep you gripped throughout.
It will also make you wonder if there might be an element of truth behind the premise of the fiction.
5.0 out of 5 stars Controversially revolutionary November 9, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This is an example of an extraordinary author with a voluminous knowledge to share. Cataclysm is a wonderful beginning of a series that will captivate the world. Jack has dealt so well with some difficult topics and expounded upon them quite eloquently. I am thoroughly invested in this concept.
Thank you Jack

Globular Van der Graff’s “Goblin Tales for Adults” is about to be reborn

Goblin Tales

The Updated Cover For Glob’s Tales

Almost there folks. I have five more tales to rework. Thanks to the artist who conceived the original picture I used for both versions of the cover for Glob’s Tales – Alexey Kuznetsov, and a good friend in the US who worked his magic by changing the wording on the book Glob is reading, you see before you the updated cover. The white lettering is my humble contribution. πŸ˜‰

Click on the new cover to see it properly, as with the map below.

As for the Goblindom map, thanks to Duncan Niall Boswell, the person responsible for drawing it, it has also been updated.

The Time Before Map

Updated map of Goblindom

Because Amazon has no plans whatsoever of updating all existing bought copies of Globular Van der Graff’s “Goblin Tales for Adults”, or any other eBook come to that, once Goblin Tales is ready I’m left me with only one choice.

I’ll delete the original from my list of books for purchase on Amazon and replace it with this updated version. For any of you who have bought a copy of the original version, and graciously left a positive review using your own name and not a pseudonym, if you want a free .pdf or .mobi copy, let me know here and we’ll work something out. The easiest way would be for you to give me your email address and your electronic file preference. If you are worried about making your email address public, don’t be. Just add it in a comment below this post and I’ll copy and paste it before removing it. πŸ˜‰

Hopefully once people no longer see the ‘for adults’ bit, they will feel inclined to buy a copy and enjoy reading it. Deleting the original, means that all of the twenty five reviews on Amazon.com, and the ten on Amazon.co.uk will also disappear. This cannot be helped. If any of you were responsible for the positive reviews, may I suggest that you go directly from here to your respective Amazon sites and copy them, so that once Goblin Tales is up and running, if you feel like it, you can then paste your review once again.

Don’t worry folks, I won’t be updating Goblin Tales again. So in a week or so, it will be adios to Globular Van der Graff’s “Goblin Tales for Adults”, and a hearty welcome to its reincarnation.

PS – here’s hoping the damned trolls, pedants, armchair critics, grammar nazis and literary snobs leave it alone this time…

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Cataclysm’s Latest Review

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4.0 out of 5 stars A challenging, passionate book, November 24, 2014
Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
This review is from: Cataclysm (Kindle Edition)
Cataclysm carries distinct echoes of Daeniken’s Chariots of the Gods. The premise is exciting, if somewhat familiar: an ingenious scientist builds a time machine and uses it to discover the truth behind humanity’s creation. What sets apart Cataclysm from similar books is the author’s passionate take on various subjects, from religion to third gender rights. For many, this will be the book’s strongest point.

However, it occasionally meant focusing on one subject but skimming through another. For example, the time travelers come across a city in the Black Sea, 3 mil. years ago. I expected a detailed description of such an amazing discovery; instead, the whole episode is over in a few pages. Oh the other hand, the hero’s apartment is described in exhaustive detail, and an anti-religious speech takes up a number of pages. Similarly, the ending felt somewhat rushed, with a strangely indirect resolution.

Still, if you’re not easily offended and are looking for a challenging, passionate book and an interesting story, this is a book worth checking out.

***
Thanks for your honest review Nicholas.
πŸ˜‰

Sooner or Later You Will Give Yourselves Away

punctuation

Face it folks, we all have habits. In this particular instance, I am talking about the way people communicate via the internet. Every single one of us use a set of stock phrases or specific combinations of words peculiar to us, that act as our unconcious signature.

Even pedants, armchair critics, grammar nazis and trolls, while hiding behind their respective pseudonyms believing they are safe in their anonymity, are no different in this regard whenever they go on the attack.

I was talking to one specific individual yesterday who gave themselves away exactly as I have indicated above. I will not name this person, nor will I even hint at their gender, age or occupation, suffice it to say that they are well known to several of us. Behind their ‘nice’ public persona lurks a particularly vicious tongued pedant.

As writers we are constantly being attacked by any or all of the above. When you have received as many one star reviews from them as I have over the years, you soon recognise each individual’s particular style of attack. By their own omission this person’s own books don’t sell, and yet they feel fully justified in picking fault with other writers.

Which begs the simple question – why do it, it makes no sense? I would only say this to the specific person – cease and desist. You won’t have many friend left in the world of words if you continue.

PS – I didn’t let on when talking to them yesterday that I recognised the specific individual’s way of communication. Had I done so, they would have automatically gone on the offensive. Life is too short to get into any kind of debate with people like that.

😦

Keeping Track of Those Characters

The Time Before Map

Goblindom

In addition to the progress report yesterday, here is a little more on the subject of updating Glob’s Tales.

Have you ever wondered how any writer, let alone myself, manages to keep track of however many characters we may employ in each novel, or in this case, anthology? Purely for your interest, here is the almost full compliment of characters for Glob’s Tales, and my brief notes about them, in no special order. When you are dealing with so many, believe me, you need notes like these with the key points about each one.

Count them up.Β  πŸ˜‰

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Glob – oldest of the Goblins, leader. Has an ash staff tipped with a magic Emerald to summon Yathle the Wyvern. He loves to read ancient chronicles.
Byz – simple minded, apt to wander off if not tethered. Plays reed pipes, loves playing with spiders, snails, worms etc.
Mous (accident prone) always substitutes z for s. Prone to sulking often has bitter arguments with his best friend Make.
Neo – severely cross eyed, extremely bad tempered, love’s Miranda with all his heart. Makes an excellent mead and is responsible for manufacturing their willow bark boots, sewing them together using a bodkin and thread made from the best spider silk.
Make – Pipe smoker, portly; normally content with his lot. Loves honeysuckle flavoured tobacco. His most prized possession is his bestest briar pipe. Often despite regarding him as his best friend he accuses Mous of stealing his possessions.
Limberespan Van der Graff (Lim) – a distant cousin of Glob. On the run from a convict gang
Grizweavil Bragsbill (Brag) – mountain goblin archer and overseer of the gang Lim escaped from, intent on killing him.
Giath the Minotaur – set free from beneath goblindom by Byz forgetting his promise, never to play the tune again. A mythical beast from the underworld, who lives on the other side of the barrier. He is freed by Dill and rampages through the world. The humans living beyond goblindom’s magic barrier are dying in their droves.
Dillfeather Fairglorn (Dill) – a mountain goblin, who raids the nearest human settlements. Fierce and warlike.
Artemus Wainpin (Mus) – goblin Shaman, seeks help from the brothers and Yestin to combat Dill.
Monkwig Gribblehang (Monk) – chief of the mountain goblins
Miranda – Mica’s old mare, the love of Neo’s life is totally infatuated by the old cross eyed goblin. Her heart beats faster whenever she senses him close by.
Agnitha – Mica’s beautiful wife, daughter of the village shaman Yestin
Ylesse – daughter of Mica and Agnitha, dotes on her goblin uncle Neo
Mica – Humin and friend of Glob and co
Verig – Humin warrior
Cantor – Humin warrior
Jasper – Humin warrior
Manx – Humin warrior
Bejuss – One eyed lisping raven with a deformed beak always says me for I.
Yathle – wyvern, and her two sisters, Maeve and Iolanthe. Black slit pupils set within mesmerizing golden eyes, armoured head, similar in shape to her distant dragon cousins, snakelike tail with vicious barbs, metallic coloured scales, thick and powerful legs, two toed feet, armed with razor sharp claws – friend to all Goblins. Main weapon – fiery breath in the form of bolts of fire. Always comes to their aid when summoned with Glob’s Emerald topped magical staff. Lives beyond the edge of the world. Wyverns are the mortal enemy of griffins.
Ariadne – Yathle’s cousin
Brilith – Plump, kind hearted, white witch of the East
His Esteemed Magnificence Obadiah Fingletook, Grand High Goblin – lives in the ancestor oak with the mother of all goblins, arrogant, childish, loves admiring himself – lazy.
Hermione Fingletook, the mother of all goblindom and the real power in Goblindom
Yestin – village shaman and father of Agnitha, grandfather of Ylesse
Crellen – Black arts wizard, teacher of Cazophen
Morweth – White Wizard, friend of Brilith
Lox – friendly female wood elf
Boggis – near sighted one eyed mountain troll – wicked, partial to snacking on goblins after fattening them up. Lives in a cave in Stone Mountain.
Slyth – griffin, friend of Bejuss
Garr – griffin Slyth’s brother. Griffins are the bane of all goblins – terrible creatures who think nothing of ripping off the legs of the goblins they catch.
Kilycke – black dragon
Grimefleet Binglenook (Bingle), the last elder goblin survivor of the battle of Blaxhorn, the war between good and evil fought between the Black Wizard Crellan and the product of his evil experiment to produce a compliant halfling Goblin/Humin – Persephone Witchclaw. Bingle lives to the south of the valley. Neo loves him dearly. Deaf as a post, bad tempered and almost blind, Bingle uses a carved snail shell as an ear-trumpet. 200,000 years old. He still wears the traditional sombre brown clothing common during The Time Before.
Grimsdyke Mugwurzle (Mug) northern plains goblin – purveyor of seeds. Upright, honest as the day is long. Large wart on the end of his nose sprouting five black hairs, thick animated bushy eyebrows – weather-beaten countenance – doesn’t appreciate a joke, nor mead. Jet black eyes. Uses ‘thee’ and ‘thine’ for you and yours.
Smikewhistle Pontigle (Pont) – goblin tailor
Grassnit Thimblefoot – Hermione’s chief scout
Figblaster Cornshuffle (Fig) Bearded mountain goblin – bounty hunter – gruff, frightening acquaintance of Neo’s
Fleetwood Cranberry (Cran) quick change artist, sly, devious, extortionist, thief and robber
Peesmold Grifflemew (Mew) goblin sage and leader of the wise council- friend of Bingle
Gropewort Winglemite esquire (Wing) aged plains goblin- toothless, cataracts – forgetful – always says ‘at yer service and so forth’ whenever he introduces himself.
Spindlenook Winglemite (Nook) – Wing’s pipe smoking younger brother. Tarred platted pigtail, long silver grey beard, smokes Elderberry flavoured baccy. Nook spent his whole life in the goblin navy on the great river, rising to the rank of captain. One eye, one arm, one leg.
Piemite Sweedlenewt (Mite) – travelling storyteller – 1’4″ tall
Pigwort Minkclaw (Mink) – ex miner who ran away. Blind and dumb – dying from the toxic effects of Crellan’s mine
Grythle Snickweed (Snick) – mountain goblin mercenary – employed in the pressgang for Crellan’s mine
Broglik Cantfurgle (Brog) – plains goblin mercenary – another member of Mordern’s band of thugs
Mordern Bigsnook (Dern) – plains goblin and escaped felon. Leader of the pressgang – sly, devious. Presses you into service.
Snailwort Dewthorn (Dew) – goblin seer. He predicts the future via his massive throbbing bunion.
Oliphant Wiseblat (Oli) – rogue plains goblin. Murders and robs all across Goblindom
Morag – queen of the humans accepts the help of Goblindom
Olin – human chief, son of Morag. Sees Bejuss as either Huginn, or Muninn – Odin’s raven messengers.

***

PS – How many did you count? This isn’t all of them. Just the main ones.

Only ten more tales to go.

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