Total morons beware!!!


I have no time whatsoever for the many kinds of total moron we all come in contact with from time to time, especially those of the lazy variety. had promised me via email last week, to expect the delivery of my new second-hand laptop today. Unbeknown to me I could have had it a day earlier but for one simple reason. Yesterday morning I had got up from working on my WIP to head out into the hallway to go to the bathroom, passing my front door in the process, which by the way is less than twelve feet from where this chair is situated, through an always open door. What do you think I found on the floor directly below my letter box? To my complete surprise I had been left one of those totally infuriating “sorry but you weren’t in when we called” cards, which certain individuals such as some of the postmen around here, and now it appears a delivery driver as well, like to use.

You would naturally assume that anyone with half a brain should have realised that if they press a doorbell and don’t hear it ringing, that the next thing to do is to knock loudly on the door – right? Well apparently that didn’t apply to this particular moron, who for the moment is still employed by APC Nationwide Next Day Delivery here in the UK – but not for much longer if I have any say in the matter. Quite clearly the management haven’t bothered to drum the aforementioned into their driver’s thick skull?

Fortunately the card did have the businesses online address along with the consignment number for my laptop on it. I immediately went online and arranged for them to deliver it this morning, Tues 12th, between 8 and 10am. The pity of it was that the online form I filled in had no comments box. Had there been one, I think you all know what I would have said to them in no uncertain terms.

Hopefully by the time you read this I’ll have it out of its packaging and charging up, having listened out for the moron’s second appearance from 8 until 10 am this morning. God help APC if it doesn’t arrive!!!

If you are wondering why another laptop? Being a full time writer, every one I have ever owned is always in constant use. Meaning that I wear one out, roughly every eighteen months to two years. There is one notable exception to the rule. My ‘old faithful’ Gladys, the six year old Windows 7 powered Vaio, who normally sits in semi-retirement in the cupboard beside me, precisely for situations like this. Gladys just keeps on keeping on, even though its now falling apart and takes about half an hour these days to start up, bless its tired electronic heart. As well as that, none of its connecting ports or it’s disk drive unit are working anymore. It’s the one I’m writing this blog post on. My newer one lost the ability to connect to the internet the other day, hence the need for another.

PS – I can’t wait until I receive the inevitable ‘please rate our service’ email from APC. Apart from the simple fact that I wasn’t expecting to receive the laptop until today, by the time I’m finished with them, their ears will be burning I assure you. One thing they will soon learn, is don’t send any more morons to my door. Another is don’t mess with this old boy or the actual specified delivery date of his goods ever again!

It’s 06.53am. The two hour delivery window starts in just over an hour from now…


21 thoughts on “Total morons beware!!!

  1. I feel for you. I was advised by the company who produced the print version of my book, “Dalliance” that it would be delivered on Friday 8 May. I specifically requested this day as it is my working from home day, (I work in the office Monday-Thursday). To cut a long story short, the courier company attempted to deliver the consignment on Monday 4 May while I was in the office! I had to collect the package from a local drop-off point which is, fortunately only some 10-15 minutes walk from my home, however my arm was sore by the time I reached the flat! The publishing company did say they would be happy to rearrange delivery but, to avoid any further complications I opted to pick up my parcel. Oh happy days. Kevin

    Liked by 1 person

      • Just sent the following email via Amazon to the company I ordered the laptop from:
        Even though I was at home yesterday when the APC driver called. Instead of knocking on my door, he/she decided to slip an ‘Unfortunately we missed you’ card through my door. Consequently I went to APC’s site yesterday to arrange delivery today Tues 12th May between 8 and 10 am. Once again, the delivery failed to show meaning I am still waiting to receive my laptop.

        APC’s consignment number is as follows: 7559433.

        I’m sure you will agree that this is not an acceptable set or circumstances. Please contact APC at your earliest opportunity and get my laptop to me poste haste.

        PS- a word of advice, don’t use APC to deliver goods…


        Jack Eason

        Liked by 1 person

      • Received this reply:

        Good Morning Jack,

        I have contacted my Warehouse who are looking into this now for you.
        As soon as I have received an update I will let you know.

        Apologies for the inconvenience.

        Only time will tell if the company concerned heeded my advice regarding the total incompetents they hired to deliver it to me . If not, the next step I will take is to cancel the order. We’re talking about them loosing a Β£400+ sale after all.


  2. Service isn’t what it used to be. Took me eight months to get someone to reseed the grass the gas company tore up to repair a gas line. Endless emails and promises of action. I finally took to posting photos and angry messages on their company Facebook page. When I saw a crew repairing the neighbor’s lawn across the street yesterday, I grabbed the crew chief and pointed out the damaged lawn. He fixed it right away. So much for customer service from the big corporations. Lazy or stupid? I’m going with lazy.


    • Now all I have to do, having used Gladys here to get myself another WIFI connection password, after the new laptop failed to recognize the old one, is to reconfigure itself so that I can get the darned thing connected to the internet via my personal WIFI connection! This is what I hate about setting up a new computer – all the totally infuriating time wasting! πŸ˜‰


  3. What a frustrating mess. We have had pretty good service from FedEx – they’ve been here so much, they know where to leave packages and they always ring the doorbell.
    I do make sure to thank them each time. If we miss he UPS driver, we have to go pick up the package at an inconvenient location.


  4. Love this post Jack, and I can totally relate. That same thing has happened to me; I’m home working as always, awaiting that package, only to find that nasty, ‘sorry we missed you’ when I exit later in the day. Seriously, how lazy are these people? As for several laptops, I hear you on that one too. Isn’t it funny the oldest one we leave on a shelf for that emergency moment when the other fail to cooperate, or better yet, crash, always comes to bat for us. πŸ™‚


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