What is it with flies? Why do they feel the need to want to drive you to distraction? You know the ones I’m talking about, the kind who sneak inside your home undetected. They decide to sit on you, not caring exactly which part, just so long as it is out of your immediate reach. Or, they settle on your television screens and wander back and forth, leaving those tiny spots of fly doody while distracting you from enjoying the programme. Or, they decide that your cup of coffee or sandwich looks inviting.

Every summer I have at least one who decides that it is its duty to live with me. Usually the little beggar lands on the toes of my right foot at least twice, my stomach once or twice, the sole of my left foot at least six times. Sometimes it sneaks down the inside of my chair beside me and decides that the right side of my body would benefit from being walked on.

The trouble with this little invader of my privacy is that he is the latest design in flies – the stealth model. He makes no noise when he spreads his wings. He doesn’t constantly go for your face. No, he hides, waiting patiently until you are no longer watching, then he strikes. He’s really smart. If I go and get the fly spray, he disappears from the room. The sneaky little so and so hides in the shadows with the multi lenses of his beady eyes trained on me, ready to make his next sneak attack.

With no sign of Spring as yet, even though the equinox has come and gone, at least for the moment I am fly free. Note to self: Head for the nearest pet shop while winter weather still prevails in search of the flies’ nemesis – a half starved Gecko…

Don’t beam me up just yet Scotty!


Someone once said, “Life’s a bitch and then you die.” We all try to make plans and hopefully at least some of them will work out. We spend the greater part of our lives as adults. No matter how you chose to lead your life, there are always the inevitable obstacles life places in your path. You go to work in the morning, joining countless millions of others across the world in the never-ending treadmill, until you either have to retire because of your age, get fired, or you burn out as I did.

More and more these days, people are laid off as a cost-cutting measure by their employer. Loyalty to your employer actually meant something at one time. It doesn’t anymore. Your age and the inevitable wealth of experience you have accumulated during your working life, places you at a serious disadvantage in the employment stakes. Youth is more important than experience to many employers for one simple reason – cost.

As you get older your age is against you for other reasons. You’re no longer as fit as you used to be; you’re slowing down. You find it harder as the years roll by to get up at dawn to perform like a trained seal for twelve hours a day, six days a week for your employer.

We’re constantly told to save for our retirement. So like gullible idiots we invest in retirement schemes, hoping that all the money we have scrimped and saved over the years will see us through our golden years. Hah – fat chance! The only ones to benefit from these schemes are the initiators of the retirement plans. They invest the contributions from their customers and often lose it in bad investments. Where does that leave us? Up the creek without a financial paddle!

In the not so good old days, we could rely on getting a guaranteed government pension when we reached sixty-five. But even that is being closely scrutinized as a possibility for austerity cuts. Most governments across the world are horrified by the prospect of all us baby boomers retiring in the next few years, and are trying desperately to legislate for a later retirement age. That won’t solve the problem. All it will achieve is long lines of unemployable geriatric job seekers joining the ranks in the unemployment offices.

My hobby and my passion are writing. When I was working on a building site for a few months back in 2002 as a labourer (the only job I could get at fifty-four), by the time I got home at night I was too tired to write. The only way to practice the art of writing is to write, write, write, and keep on writing!

My first attempt at getting in to print happened back in the eighties, when I had an article published in a New Zealand outdoor magazine for the princely sum of NZ$60.00. Now that I am retired every penny I get in royalties, while not enough to live on, contributes to paying the household bills each month. Fortunately since becoming an independent writer (self-publishing) I am beginning to build a readership. I’ll never be rich, but I’m following my dream at long last. Better late than never as they say.

I’m going cross-eyed cleaning out my computer

Why oh why in this day and age can’t someone devise a software programme to constantly run in the background, cleaning out all those annoying little bits of unwanted stuff none of us actually want? Why can’t the nerds/geniuses who write computer programmes fix this for all of us? 
At least once a month my laptop starts dragging its heels, slowing down, clogged up with all manner of the computer equivalent of dust and cobwebs. And so I have to click on the ‘Tool’s button’ and drop down to where I find the ‘clearing tool’.
It contains the following headings:
Browsing and Download History
Form and Search History
Site Preferences
And so I highlight the lot and away it goes emptying out all of those pesky bits of info. Once done, I then have to laboriously log myself back into each page I use on a daily basis – why, it seems so counter-productive to my way of thinking?
Browsing and Download History – why would I conceivably want to know that? I already know which sites I look at, I don’t need a whole lot of totally unnecessary entries clogging up the works.
The dreaded Cookie is the province of sad people who live in darkened rooms following every click of a key we all make for marketing purposes.
While I think about it, what use is a Cache except for storing the number of times you have opened up a particular online site? As for Form and Search History, or Site Preferences, do I give a damn – no!
I have enough to contend with operating my laptop every day without going cross-eyed cleaning it out and having to log myself back in afterwards thank you very much.